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The Great Pumpkin Will Be Late

The city government has ruled therefore we must obey.

Halloween will be tomorrow.

Who cares that parents took days off.

Who cares that people spent hours making caramel apples. (Don’t be ridiculous it wasn’t me it was my wife. I however did contribute by pausing the TV when she left the room.)

It’s all about the weather. Just because winds are expected to exceed 40 mph. Just because it’s supposed to pour rain. Just because there is a chance of a tornado.


The city fathers and mothers thought it best we do Trick or Treating tomorrow.

Make up your minds. First they say our kids are too obese now they are afraid they’ll blow away in a storm. If they are really that fat there isn’t much chance they’ll be lifted off their feet. Tipped over maybe but blown away, I doubt it. Unless of course the 10% chance of a tornado comes up a winner.

I think postponing Halloween is a bad lesson. If we let our kids move holiday activities to whatever day the sun shines, won’t they grow up to think they can do that through life? Bad weather? Call in to work. That’s not a good plan for long term employment.

Instead send the little candy beggars out in the storm. They can dress like the Gorton Fisherman if they don’t want to get wet. It will teach them character. It will also teach them at what wind speed a yellow rain slicker will become a parasail. Both valuable life lessons in my book.

Another life lesson is going to be taught tomorrow. It’s when the little witches, princesses and ninjas will learn that every dad in Glasgow, Ky sat around tonight watching the NFL Thursday night game and eating all the candy.

trick or treats

The treats my wife prepared for the little costume wearers.

They will saunter up to each house and come back empty. No candy, just the memory of a bloated dad with an ashamed look on his face.

mini caramel apples for halloween

Mini caramel apples. If the Trick or Treaters think these will still be here tomorrow they are dreaming. Apple balls dipped in caramel and rolled in candy or peanuts? Those are dessert tonight!

It will teach them beggars can’t be choosers and they should of choose to ignore the city and Trick or Treat on Halloween like we would have in my perfect generation.

We wouldn’t of let a small thing like a tornado scare us. We lived when kids were tough. We drank out of garden hoses. We ate led paint. We breathed second hand smoke. We Trick or Treated on Halloween, come hell or high water.

It could be why a lot of us have the ailments that accompany such behavior but at least we had a big bag of candy to show for our troubles.

That and the delusion memories of a perfect childhood.


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