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I Don’t Hear Voices of Live People

Is it odd that I have good hearing and I “talk” to people all the time but have no idea what they sound like? In fact some days go by where I talk to my kids, several times, and never hear them speak once.

Just yesterday I talked to my oldest but didn’t hear him. I also talked to a nice woman from New Mexico but have no idea what she sounds like. A couple of days ago, I had a very pleasant conversation with my sister in-law, but it was in silence. Believe it or not, I have even spoke to a magician’s assistant from Las Vegas and you guessed it – didn’t hear  a word.

Now some of you wives out there are guessing I am just your usual husband who ignores you. That would be wrong, but nice guess. In fact my wife is one of the few people who I do hear.

Unlike my kids, who always text, my wife knows a phone is capable of transmitting sounds. And knows, I prefer to use it that way, even though I do text out of necessity to stay in touch.

Besides texting, I “talk” to people on Facebook, on Twitter and even on Google Plus. All silent mediums.

Everyone of you go on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus or whatever your favorite is and think you are so tech savvy. You carry around the latest phone whether it be a Snapple 6 or the latest Hemorrhoid and think you have the world by the keyboard. When in fact you are reverting back more than 130 years.

In 1876 Alexander Graham Bell spoke the famous sentence “Mr Watson—Come here—I want to see you” into a telephonic device and ever since the spoken word has been the easiest and fastest way to communicate electronically.

But most of you choose to type into a gadget as if you are burdened by the confines of the telegraph. And I do too, sometimes.

If asked, I am sure you would say, texting is easier. It’s less intrusive. Guess what? It’s been that way for 137 years!

You think you are cool.

Little did you know that Alexander Graham Bell not only invented the telephone but he also realized long before you, it was a pain in the ass.

Bell, more than than even me, knew first hand about a life of silence. His mother and wife were deaf. So when he invented a thing that rang every time some idiot had a thought, they wanted to share, he regretted it.

He regretted it to a point that he kept no phone in his study.

Just like you, he didn’t want the constant intrusion of sound interrupting his life.

So next time you are tapping away on your little keyboard, feverishly trying to impart your wisdom upon the world, remember you are not cool.

You are as old fashioned as the phone itself.

Then for God’s sake give me a call.

I want to hear live people!


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