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Morning Shopping

I had to drop James off this morning for Academic Team practice so I thought I would pick up a few things at the store. The usual stuff for someone on the Fast Metabolism Diet. I bought raw almonds, white nectarines, oatmeal, chicken, cucumbers, almond milk and salad mix. I also bought the staples for the kids – Ramen noodles, potatoes, milk and a few other things.

I like shopping early in the morning because it’s not crowded and it wasn’t. Unfortunately the only store open that early is WalMart. WalMart undoubtedly has a team of people whose job is to figure out how to piss off customers.

Trying to shop at Walmart. They make it hard when they block every aisle while they restock.

Trying to shop at Walmart. They make it hard when they block every aisle while they restock.

Today their idea was, besides blocking every aisle while restocking, was to clean the floors with a machine that looks like a Zamboni. I understand they need to clean the floors but wouldn’t a better time, for a 24 hour store, be at 3 AM not 7 AM? Also maybe hire someone who watches where he is going while driving his automotive mop on wheels. And one final thought on the subject; maybe it would be a good idea for him to yield for the customers instead of expecting the customers to scatter as he approaches.

Okay I lied, one more thought. A nice mop handle across his forehead, as he drives by, would correct a couple of the issues. Any jury comprised of Walmart shoppers would never convict. Standing ovation? Yes. Convict? No.

But I completed my shopping in spite of the reckless driving of the motorized Merry Maid. I even managed not to bludgeon a mother and daughter, who obviously mistook me for someone who wanted them to look at every I was interested in buying.

Do you ever get the impression you are invisible? You are standing in front of an item when another customer walks up and stands between you and the thing you are interested in buying. As if they can’t see you. I don’t know whether they are rude or stupid. In the case of mom and daughter, I think both.

Another favorite is the “close stander.”

You are in line and the person behind you stands so close you can feel their breath on the back of your neck. You move forward to try to get away and they move even closer. I know I am irresistible to women but give me some room. And please, for God’s sakes, cover your mouth when you cough. If you are going to stand so close, we are wearing the same shoes, I’d rather you didn’t hack up a lung on the back of my shirt.

As you can tell, I love shopping.

Anyone know a good home delivery service?

 

 

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